Sub-module 8.2 – Using the Dual Process Model to Aid Clients Navigate Between Loss and Restoration Orientation
The Dual Process Model, developed by Margaret Stroebe and Henk Schut, offers a dynamic and integrative perspective on the grieving process. According to this model, bereaved individuals navigate between two types of coping strategies: Loss Orientation, which involves confronting the reality of the loss and experiencing the associated painful emotions; and Restoration Orientation, which involves reengaging in life, developing new roles and identities. As a GRIEF COACH, it is essential to understand this natural oscillation between loss and restoration, to help bereaved individuals find a healthy balance and journey towards a new life.
Loss orientation manifests as thoughts, emotions and behaviors directly related to the deceased loved one and the lost relationship. Bereaved individuals may experience deep sadness, nostalgia, anger or guilt, and may need to talk about their loved one, remember memories or mourn their loss. They may also have intrusive thoughts, dreams or sensory illusions related to the deceased, and seek to maintain a symbolic connection with them through objects, places or rituals. This orientation towards loss is necessary to integrate the reality of the loss, give it meaning, and fully live the associated emotions.
Restoration orientation, on the other hand, manifests as efforts to readjust to life without the loved one, on practical, social and existential levels. Bereaved individuals may seek to develop new skills, take on new family or professional roles, create new relationships or find new interests. They may also need to rethink their identity, values and beliefs, to make sense of their life after the loss. This orientation towards restoration is essential to regain a sense of control, continuity and meaning, and to open up to new existential possibilities.
According to the Dual Process Model, bereaved individuals naturally oscillate between these two orientations, based on their needs, personality and context. Some people may tend to focus more on the loss, risking neglecting their present and future life, while others may tend to immerse themselves in action and change, at the risk of not taking the time to live their grief. The challenge for the GRIEF COACH is to help bereaved individuals find a dynamic balance between these two poles, accompanying them with flexibility and kindness in their oscillations.
To do this, the coach can draw on various tools and techniques, depending on the needs and preferences of each bereaved individual. To support loss orientation, they can suggest expressive writing exercises, memorial rituals or visualization sessions, to help individuals express their emotions, honor their lost relationship and find concrete ways to maintain a symbolic link with the deceased. To support restoration orientation, they can use goal planning tools, problem-solving methods or cognitive restructuring, to help bereaved individuals develop new skills, overcome practical obstacles and cultivate a positive vision of the future.
A poignant example of the use of the Dual Process Model in grief coaching is that of Marc, a 55-year-old man who lost his wife in a car accident. In the months following the death, Marc was completely overwhelmed by his grief and struggled to function on a daily basis. He spent hours looking at photos of his wife, listening to her favorite music and crying in his bed. During our sessions, I welcomed this orientation towards loss with empathy and validation, encouraging him to express his emotions and take the time to live his grief. Gradually, I also began to invite him to think about small concrete steps he could take to care for himself and reengage in life. Marc thus decided to resume walking, an activity he used to do with his wife and which gave him a sense of connection with her. He also accepted his son’s invitation to spend more time with his grandchildren, which allowed him to rediscover moments of joy and complicity. Gradually, Marc was able to navigate between his grief and his desire to rebuild his life, finding a balance that respected his rhythm and needs.
Using the Dual Process Model in grief coaching requires great flexibility and the ability to adjust in real-time to the movements of the bereaved. The GRIEF COACH must be capable of validating and welcoming moments of loss orientation, while gently encouraging restoration orientation when the person appears ready. They must also be attentive to signs of imbalance when a bereaved individual becomes stuck in one orientation at the expense of the other, and help to rebalance their grieving process. This requires great relational finesse, active listening, and creativity in the choice of tools and interventions.
By integrating the Dual Process Model into their practice, the GRIEF COACH has a valuable roadmap to assist bereaved individuals in their journey towards a new life. They can thus help them honor their loss while reengaging in the world, live their grief while cultivating moments of joy and meaning, maintain a connection with their deceased loved one while opening up to new relationships. This model reminds us that grief is a dynamic and multidimensional process, which requires support that respects each individual’s rhythm, and offers hope and renewal.
Points to remember:
– The Dual Process Model by Stroebe and Schut provides an integrative perspective on grief, between loss orientation and restoration orientation.
– Loss orientation involves confronting the reality of death and living through the associated painful emotions. It is necessary to integrate the loss and give it meaning.
– Restoration orientation involves readjusting to life without the loved one, developing new roles, relationships and outlooks. It is crucial to regain a sense of control and meaning.
– Bereaved individuals naturally oscillate between these two orientations according to their needs and context. The coach’s role is to help them find a dynamic balance between the two.
– The coach can use different tools to support each orientation: writing, rituals, visualization for loss; planning, problem-solving, cognitive restructuring for restoration.
– The coach must demonstrate flexibility to adjust to the movements of bereaved individuals, validate their experiences, gently encourage them, and spot imbalances.
– By integrating this model, the coach aids the bereaved in their journey towards a new life that honors their loss while cultivating hope and renewal.
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