Welcome to this eighth sub-module which will allow you to explore two fundamental concepts to understand the diversity and complexity of LGBTQ+ identities: sexual fluidity and gender fluidity.
Sexual fluidity refers to the fact that a person’s sexual orientation can evolve and change throughout their life. Contrary to the common assumption that sexual orientation is fixed and immutable, many people experience an attraction that varies over time, depending on their experiences, the people they meet, and their personal journey.
For example, a person may identify as heterosexual for part of their life, then discover an attraction to people of the same gender and identify as bisexual or pansexual. Another person may have mainly homosexual relationships at one stage of their life, then develop an attraction to another gender subsequently.
Sexual fluidity does not question the validity or authenticity of sexual orientation. It simply invites us to consider orientation as a dynamic process rather than a static characteristic. It recognizes that our attractions and desires can evolve throughout our history and experiences.
Similarly, gender fluidity refers to the fact that a person’s gender identity can shift and change. Some people experience a gender identity that varies over time, oscillating between different poles or eluding binary male/female categories.
This is the case, for example, of genderfluid people, who may feel male, female, both, or neither at different times in their life or even their day. Their gender identity is fluid, moving, it does not crystallize into a single and definite category.
Other people may identify with a gender for part of their life, then realize that this identity no longer reflects them and begin a transition to another gender. This is the case for many transgender people who discover their identity in adulthood after long conforming to the gender assigned to them.
Gender fluidity does not challenge the reality or legitimacy of gender identity. It invites us to consider gender as a spectrum rather than two rigid boxes. It acknowledges the diversity and complexity of gender identities, which do not always reduce to a fixed and permanent label.
Miley Cyrus is a famous figure who embodies sexual and gender fluidity. After long identifying as bisexual, she declared in 2015 that she was pansexual, explaining that her attraction did not depend on the person’s gender. She also expressed her fluid gender identity, describing herself as not really a “man or woman” but “somewhere in between”.
The series Sex Education features a genderfluid character, Cal, who uses the neutral pronoun “they” and expresses a moving gender identity. In a striking scene, they explain: “Some days, I feel more like a boy. Other days, I feel more like a girl. And still other days, I feel like a mix of the two or like something completely different.”
As a coach, it is essential to welcome with openness and kindness the sexual and gender fluidity of your clients. Avoid assumptions about their orientation or identity based on their appearance or history. Use the terms and pronouns chosen by the person, even if they change over time.
Keep in mind that exploration and questioning are legitimate and necessary processes for many LGBTQ+ people. Your role is to offer a safe and validating space to accommodate this exploration, without trying to confine the person into one box or another.
By addressing sexual and gender fluidity in your coaching practice, you will help to deconstruct rigid and binary representations of identities. You will help your clients to embrace the complexity and beauty of their journey, to allow themselves to be who they are in all their uniqueness. Because celebrating fluidity and diversity of identities is working towards a more inclusive world where everyone can be recognized and loved for who they are, beyond boxes and labels.
Key Takeaways:
– Sexual fluidity refers to the fact that a person’s sexual orientation can evolve and change throughout their life. Sexual orientation is a dynamic process rather than a static characteristic.
– Gender fluidity refers to the fact that a person’s gender identity can be changing and shifting. Some people, like genderfluid persons, experience a gender identity that varies over time.
– Sexual and gender fluidity doesn’t challenge the validity or the legitimacy of sexual orientation or gender identity. They invite us to consider orientation and gender as spectrums rather than rigid categories.
– As a coach, it’s crucial to welcome with openness and kindness the sexual and gender fluidity of clients, to avoid assumptions based on appearance or history, and to use the terms and pronouns chosen by the person.
– Exploration and questioning are legitimate and necessary processes for many LGBTQ+ people. The coach’s role is to offer a safe and validating space for accommodating this exploration.
– Celebrating fluidity and diversity of identities helps to deconstruct rigid and binary representations and to work towards a more inclusive world.
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