Submodule 7.2 – Bereavement Coaching for the Elderly
Bereavement in the elderly is a unique experience, that differs from that of younger adults due to the developmental and existential issues specific to this stage of life. The elderly often face multiple and cumulative losses, such as the death of their spouse, friends or siblings, as well as losses related to ageing, such as the decrease in their autonomy or their physical and cognitive abilities. These grievances occur in a context of increased awareness of their own finiteness and questions about the meaning of their life and legacy.
Faced with these challenges, the elderly may experience their grief intensely and prolonged, while having fewer opportunities to express their sorrow and receive support. Indeed, the elderly often face social stereotypes portraying them as naturally resilient or detached in the face of death, due to their life experience. They may also hesitate to share their distress with their loved ones, for fear of overburdening them or appearing vulnerable. This solitude in grief can exacerbate feelings of despair, isolation or loss of meaning.
To support the bereaved elderly, it is essential to create a warm and validating space where they can freely express their emotions and thoughts. It is important to recognize the uniqueness of their experience and to value their wisdom and resilience, while normalizing their grief and their moments of vulnerability. Narrative tools, such as life storytelling or creating a memory album, can be particularly relevant in helping them retrace their history, honor the ties that mattered to them, and pass on their legacy to future generations.
It is also crucial to explore with the bereaved elderly the sources of meaning and continuity that can help them navigate this ordeal. For some, spirituality or religion can provide a reassuring framework to think about death and the afterlife. For others, engaging in meaningful activities, such as volunteering, knowledge transmission or artistic creation, can bring a sense of purpose and contribution. The GRIEF COACH can help the elderly identify and cultivate these resources, encouraging them to stay active and connected despite their losses.
At the same time, it is essential to stay alert to signs of complicated grief in the elderly, such as prolonged withdrawal, lasting loss of appetite or sleep, or the onset of overwhelming depressive or anxious symptoms. These manifestations can be misunderstood as normal effects of ageing and require specific assessment and management. The GRIEF COACH can play a key role in identifying these difficulties and directing to appropriate resources, in collaboration with family and health professionals.
In supporting the bereaved elderly, it is also essential to take into account their living situation and concrete needs. The elderly may face practical difficulties following the death of their spouse, such as managing household chores, finances or health care. They may also need to adapt their environment to cope with their own losses of autonomy. The GRIEF COACH can help them identify their needs and mobilize the necessary resources, by directing them towards home help services, support groups or specialized associations.
Finally, involving the relatives and the family in supporting the bereaved elderly is fundamental, while respecting their autonomy and privacy. Adult children and grandchildren can be invaluable allies in providing a loving and reassuring presence, facilitating practical matters, and preserving familial bonds. The GRIEF COACH can advise them on how to support their elderly parent, communicate with them, and take care of themselves in this process. They can also facilitate intergenerational exchanges about memories, values, and legacies, to strengthen family cohesion and the sense of continuity.
By supporting grieving elderly people with respect, empathy and creativity, the GRIEF COACH can contribute to easing their emotional burden and giving meaning to this phase of their life. By helping them express their grief, honor the bonds that mattered to them, and find new sources of purpose and connection, they lay the foundations for a journey enriched with serenity and wisdom. Their role is to offer a benevolent and validating presence, allowing the elderly to feel heard, acknowledged and supported in this ultimate journey.
Key points to remember:
– Bereavement in the elderly is a unique experience, marked by multiple and cumulative losses, as well as by an increased awareness of their own finiteness.
– The elderly may experience their grief intensely and for a prolonged period, while having fewer opportunities to express their grief and receive support, due to social stereotypes and a desire to protect their loved ones.
– To support the bereaved elderly, it is essential to create a warm and validating space, recognize the uniqueness of their experience, and explore with them the sources of meaning and continuity.
– Narrative tools, such as life storytelling or creating a memory album, can help the elderly retrace their history, honor significant ties, and pass on their legacy.
– It is crucial to stay alert to signs of complicated grief in the elderly and to guide them towards appropriate resources if necessary.
– Support must take into account the living situation and concrete needs of the bereaved elderly, assisting them in mobilizing necessary resources.
– Involvement of relatives and the family in supporting the bereaved elderly is fundamental, while respecting their autonomy and privacy.
– By offering a benevolent and validating presence, the GRIEF COACH can help alleviate the emotional burden of the bereaved elderly and assist them in finding meaning in this stage of their life.
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